Lily Allen is getting candid about her past relationships, her emotional struggles, and her journey to self-healing following her split from husband David Harbour. The 39-year-old singer recently reflected on her “incredibly red flag” behavior during her first relationship, revealing how her early dating habits shaped her approach to love and intimacy.
On the February 24 episode of her podcast Miss Me?, co-hosted with Miquita Oliver, Allen opened up about her first boyfriend, Lester, and how she became overly dependent on him. “As soon as I got my first boyfriend, Lester, complete transference of intimacy. Not only did I not want to touch or be cuddled or be kissed by anyone in my family, I couldn’t engage in it with them either. It was like, this person is where I’ve put that now,” she shared.
Allen didn’t hold back, admitting, “It’s incredibly like, red flag, codependent behavior that I just put all of my emotional dependency on one person.” Her honesty about her past resonated with fans, as she continues to navigate her own emotional growth.
The podcast episode, which centered around the topic of kissing, also touched on Allen’s relationship with her two daughters, Marnie Rose, 12, and Ethel Mary, 13, from her previous marriage to Sam Cooper. Allen revealed that her daughters have different preferences when it comes to affection. “One of them, when I say give me a kiss, she just puts her forehead forward for me to kiss her on the forehead. And the other one wants full-on kisses on the lips. And yeah, I don’t have a problem with either. Whatever they want. Whatever they’re comfortable with,” she said.
Allen’s openness about her parenting style comes amid a challenging period in her personal life. Multiple sources confirmed to PEOPLE that she and David Harbour, whom she married in 2020, have separated after four years of marriage. A source close to the couple revealed that the “marriage has been crumbling,” leaving Allen “devastated.”
In the wake of the split, Allen checked into a treatment center to address her “emotional turmoil.” On the February 13 episode of her podcast, she shared, “I just feel very grateful to have been given the time and the space that I needed. I went into a sort of treatment center for a few weeks, which was great. I did a lot of group therapy and some individual therapy, and I just needed some time and space away from everything.”
Allen emphasized that her decision to seek help was driven by her desire to be a better mother to her daughters. “I just don’t think I was able to do that because of the sort of emotional turmoil that I was in at the time,” she admitted. “But I do feel like I am now. I‘m not saying I’m 100% there, and I’m not saying that I’m getting it 100% right or ever will, but I’m definitely in a stronger place.”
She also made it clear that she never wants her daughters to feel responsible for her emotional well-being. “I never wanted them to feel like they have to prop me up,” she said. “None of my struggles are their fault, and it’s my job to make them feel safe and secure.”
Despite the challenges, Allen is focusing on moving forward. On February 23, she shared a reflective Instagram post about her recent time in Los Angeles, hinting at new creative endeavors. “LA sometimes I really don’t enjoy being inside you, but this time was different. Till next time x,” she captioned a series of photos, including one that appeared to be inside a studio. Fans are eagerly speculating whether this means new music is on the horizon, as her last album, No Shame, was released in 2018.
As Lily Allen continues to heal and rebuild, her candidness about her struggles and growth serves as a reminder that even celebrities face their own battles. Her journey is far from over, but she’s determined to come out stronger—for herself and her daughters.
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